The Whitakers have landed!

WE MADE IT! I am happy to let you all know that Charlie and I are safe and sound in South Korea. Thank you for all the love and support you have shown us throughout this process. We really appreciate each and every one of you, especially our families. Here’s a little rundown of the main things that we have done so far. I promise I will try and keep updating as much as I can!

1. The Flight

First let me start by describing the reason for my jet lag, the flight process to get here. For the military, they charter a plane and you travel with other military people bound for the same destination. It was another “Welcome to the Army” kind of experience. Gather and wait in line. We were told to check in our bags at 2:30am but the flight didn’t leave until 7:30am. Luckily my husband and I were towards the front of the line but watching the rest of the people stack up behind us was eye opening to how many military people we’d be flying with. I’ve never seen so many green army dufflebags in my life. We flew from Seattle, stopped in Japan, and finally landed in Korea. All together it was about 15-16 hours. I’m happy to say that there were no stressful moments between Charlie and I during the trip. I’m thankful to have a husband that is really go with the flow and knows how to “adult” more than I do (for those not up with the millennial talk, that means do responsible adult like things to properly handle life in general).  We mainly slept, talked, or watched a movie (How to Train Your Dragon 2, we highly recommend it).

2. Initial Arrival

Before we could check into our hotel (and curl up in a big comfy bed that wasn’t a squeaky airplane seat) we had to sit through a short briefing. This was mainly information for the soldiers on how their in-processing would proceed the next morning, plus general rules to follow. For example: curfew for military and military family is 1:00am (whaaaat?). Apparently a lot of soldiers have been getting in trouble for staying out too late, so they keep moving the curfew up. Anyway, on our first morning in Korea Charlie had to go to Army stuff and I just hung out in the hotel until I was needed for spouse paperwork. After lunch, Charlie’s sponsor (an experienced fellow solider assigned to show you around and help you settle in) picked us up and gave us a ride to our assigned post, Camp Humphreys. Andy, is a very nice guy just a couple years ahead of Charlie. They both fly the same air frame, Chinooks, so I can see why they were paired together.

That afternoon was filled with settling in the hotel, and Andy showing Charlie where to get paperwork done. Andy invited us out to dinner with a group of people including his wife, another Chinook pilot, and another couple that we already knew from Fort Rucker. The other Chinook pilot, Alex, picked us up and gave us a ride to the dinner place. They took us out to a traditional Korean BBQ where you had to sit on the floor and cook your own meat at the table. Andy’s wife, Morgan, was waiting there when we arrived. She was full of energy and super friendly. Her energy was contagious because Charlie and I were fighting off the jet lag around that time, so it was a nice pick-me-up. It was a joy to see a familiar face when our friends from Fort Rucker arrived, Madison and Richie. The whole group seemed to get along really well and I felt really welcomed. Us wives were pretty much chit-chatting about all the places to travel, and the guys were talking about Army stuff, getting Charlie familiar with everything. It was a fun night meeting up with old friends and making new ones.

3. House Hunting and Car Shopping

This was the one thing on our to-do list that I was looking forward to the most, finding our own place. It didn’t count when we lived in Fort Rucker because Charlie was living there for over a year before we got married and I moved in. The home we choose here will be “our” first place that we’re moving into together as a couple. So exciting! Alex hooked us up with another Chinook wife, Nadine, to help us find a good realtor. She knows what questions to ask, and what areas are good and safe to live in. So she acted like our middle man. Nadine took us to the realtor she uses and highly recommends to start our house hunt. The process was a bit overwhelming at first because all Charlie and I knew we wanted was 3 bedrooms. Throughout the house hunting we narrowed down more of our preferences: a villa, 3 bedrooms, big kitchen, designated parking spots, WiFi and water included, etc. Side note, there aren’t really singular”houses” side by side like in America. In Korea there are a lot of towering high rise apartments. Or there are villas which are up to 3 stories and have more space. We narrowed down our favorite villa and are going back to see it again today. Praying this one works out for us and that negotiations go well!

So far with cars, I actually saw one for sale conveniently parked in front of the hotel. It looked nicer than the beater cars you see on their last leg driving around post that are all rusted. We called and met with the owner yesterday. She is a fellow soldier, so it was nice to hear the process of buying a car from someone who has already gone through it. This car is our number one pick so far, but Charlie and I still want to look around at one of the dealerships just outside of post when it is open. Fun fact: all the Koreans tint the heck out of their windows!

4. Feelings So Far

Everything is slowly sinking in for me. I feel as though my mind knows the facts of what is happening but my heart thinks we’re just visiting for two weeks then we’re off to America. I think my heart will catch up with everything else once we start moving into our home. Once I start taking our belongings out of their boxes and placing them around the house, it will hit me. I’m happy we are finally here, we’re meeting a lot of new people, and that we’re making progress on the in-processing checklist. The Korean people, like our realtor, are so polite and helpful which is a relief and eases the stress. My one and only BIG stress is finding a job. I know the Lord will provide, but I need to stop worrying and just give the worries to God. I can’t do much since we aren’t really settled in yet. So far all I can do is schedule a meeting with the Employment Readiness Program Manager to get information on what the next step is in the job hunt.

My personal goals throughout our stay in Korea are to find a job, get in healthy physical shape, keep up a positive attitude, be flexible with military life, and most of all be the best helpmate to my husband as I can. I know I can’t achieve those goals on my own. My only constant in a world full of changes, is the love my God has for me. That love will keep me going even in the seasons of unknown. Keep us in your prayers!

“Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” Psalm 55:22 ESV

“Whatever happens…”

Picture this: you’re a newlywed. Hubby is in the military, which means you’ll be moving a lot. But it’s no big deal because your husband’s orders for his next post is one place that is highly coveted. It’s a beautiful location, filled with a variety of outdoor activities, graduate schools to further your education, and you’re even browsing to buy a house. But just when everything seems too good to be true, his orders change. Oh no, it’s not to just any other post. Instead of staying state-side where your homebody comfort zone prefers, you’re going to a whole other country across the globe! South Korea.

I’ll be honest, when my husband first told me about the change I cried like a baby. The worst possible situation in my head was coming true and there was nothing I could do to change it. I didn’t want to go to another country. I wanted what I planned for: the dream post, get into a graduate program, buy a house to eventually settle down after military life. I wanted what I felt comfortable with. Instead I was completely caught off guard, confused, and frustrated. Not only did our post change, but since it was overseas there was a chance I wouldn’t be able to accompany my husband! Great. Our dream post was taken away from us, and now I probably won’t see my husband for a YEAR after only 4 months of marriage. Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I’m a type A personality that likes to plan, have a good grasp at what is going on around me, and I like to have a good amount of control. This whole situation was slipping through my fingers and nothing I could do would make a difference. It rocked me spiritually, to the point all I had left to do was literally fall to my knees and give it all to God. That’s when I learned about accepting God’s timing, and how I need to react to life’s challenges in a biblical manner.

After a couple weeks of prayer and devotions I finally had my “Aha!” moment from the Lord. I was reading my favorite devotional one morning by Debbie Alsdorf, A Woman Who Trusts God. She was explaining that even when nothing in life is going according to your plan, God still has a plan for you. The three points that stuck out to me:

• God has his own timing- he is not on our schedule.
• Circumstances don’t have to make sense to us; everything makes sense to God.
• God is not in a hurry, we are.

The devotional shared that we are to go through the challenges with joy and realize the spiritual growth and development we can experience as a result. I am not in control of the events or timing in my life, that power is with God. The verse she used to bring this all together is Philippians 1:27, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” Paul wrote “whatever happens.” He didn’t say, “only when life is easy.” We are to act in a manner worthy of Christ with whatever happens in our life. I did not get my way with our orders being changed to the last place I wanted to go. But I need to have joy instead of frustration. Instead of pouting, I need to cast my burden on the Lord in constant prayer.

It didn’t happen overnight, but after finally surrendering the situation to the Lord, He changed my heart to have a positive outlook on going to South Korea. Now my husband and I are super excited about the opportunity to live in a foreign country for a couple years! And yes, I get to accompany him! I mean, who else gets that chance in their life?! We’re still young with no children or pets (yet) so now is the opportune time for us to travel. We’re excited for what the Lord has in store for us overseas. I know with full confidence that my God has not forgotten about me, He just has me on another path. All I need to do is have joy in the journey, whatever happens.

“Because of the wrong mind-set, many people never experience the joy of living.” – Joyce Meyer

 

Being a faithful friend: speak truth, love, and encouragement.

Throughout the majority of my friendships, I have been known to be the one in the group to have heart-to-heart conversations when problems in life come around. I’m usually the one they seek out or I reach out to them. I do everything in my power to be the voice of reason in my friend’s life so that they can properly handle and navigate through their situation. Whether it be drama with another friend, family issues, trouble in their spiritual walk, or relationship problems with their significant other; I try to fill them with encouragement and Christ-centered counsel. I strive to be a faithful friend. Being a faithful friend is having strong sense of conviction and urge to help fix the situation. You feel as if you stand by and say nothing, your friend will be lost in the maze of confusion and doubt. Your ultimate goal is to lend a helping hand for a friend by providing them a clear perspective of their circumstance, point them in the right direction that follows God’s word, and best glorify God in the process.

When the hard times come it is easy to complain, become angry, or try to find the easy way out without dealing with the problem at hand. The desire of a faithful friend is to lend a listening ear and help point them back to God and His word. In James 1 it talks about the testing of faith during trials. It is important to understand that when a friend is going through trials in life, it will reveal their character and test their faith. Knowing why trials happen and how to react to them is crucial to have in your encouragement utility belt. The Lord allows trials to happen in our lives so that we can learn to endure and become stronger from them. My encouragement is to be proactive by being filled up with God’s word daily, so that when the trials come you will be equipped to react in a Christlike manner. It’s easy to have the reaction of lashing out, isolating/distancing yourself, or trying to fix things on your own. But reacting in a Christlike manner means being honest with God about your struggle by seeking Him in prayer, sharing your struggle with a mentor or close friend so they can pray also and hold you accountable, and having a positive outlook knowing that when you feel weak the Lord is always there to be your strength. Helping your friend have a clear perspective of their situation and pointing them to how God desires them to handle and react to it will give them a biblical wake up call.

As a faithful friend, you have to be prepared for unwanted backlash. Some might verbally attack you out of emotion or immaturity, and they will not take the time to see your genuine heart to help. There is no strive for personal gain or manipulation involved in being a faithful friend. Unfortunately there will be some that will accuse you of these very things. Do not be discouraged when that happens. Keep your motives aligned with God’s word and know that you can’t save everyone. Listen to the Holy Spirit that is living in you to prompt the timing and decision of your involvement. Sometimes you will have to be silent and let the Lord help that person in a different way. But when the answer is yes and the time to act is now, pray to up to be filled with God’s wisdom and discernment. Speak an equal amount of truth and love in your friend’s life so that they are built up with bricks of encouragement and not torn down by judgmental jabs.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27:6 NASB

 

Designed to Grow

My mom’s go-to saying whenever anyone asked her how she was handling the idea of her first child getting married was, “They are designed to grow.” I never fully wrapped my head around that statement until after the wedding was over and I was across the country starting my new life with my husband. I had never uprooted my life before. I attended a small Christian college that was a little over an hour from my hometown. I never really got to experience the reality of really moving away. Don’t get me wrong, I am over the moon about finally living with my husband! The majority of our relationship had been long distance. Shout out to Skype for keeping us both from losing our minds. During the realization that I was closing a chapter of my single life and starting a new one as a wife, the Lord did a number on my heart. I was like a plant whose roots had outgrown her pot. The Lord then decided I needed to be planted in an even bigger one, and with that came some uncomfortable growing pains that I know now will be well worth it.

During my first two weeks living in my new home I struggled with my identity and purpose in life. I was happy to be with my husband and our marriage was and still is full of life and love, but when he would leave for his usual 10-12 hour work shift I would be home alone with my thoughts and it would be difficult for me. I wanted to find a job right away and feel like I was contributing. I had no luck, plus it is difficult knowing that we will only be here for a couple months until he graduates and receives orders to report to another place. My personality is Type A, go-getter, always needs to be doing/accomplishing something and be in control. Stay at home wife is definitely not my cup of tea. So for me to sit at home and do nothing was a huge adjustment and I hated it. The enemy was attacking me with his lies, telling me that I had no purpose, all my education wouldn’t pay off, and that I had no self-worth. I sort of went through my own form of depression. My motivation was lost and it was difficult to find joy in my usual hobbies. I felt stuck and lost. I shared my struggle with my husband and family back home. They were all very understanding and comforting. My mom encouraged me with the fact that since I had all that free time on my hands, it was the perfect opportunity to pour my heart out to the Lord, writing out my feelings in my journal, and grow my relationship with Him. And that is exactly what I did.

It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly I began to realize that God had not forgotten about me. He has a purpose for me and I matter to Him. I needed to face the fact that I can’t fix my problems all on my own. I was and still am going through a growing period in my life. I am no longer living with my family back home where I play a small role, dad provides the income, and mom cooks the meals. Now I have a new family where I have a major role to play. I am learning to willfully put my husband’s needs above my own and submit to him. I am willfully doing wifey things like cooking dinner and doing the dishes (for those that know me personally know the magnitude of those tasks and how I would hate doing them). I am growing content in this meantime pot the Lord has planted me in. He has plans for me and I have faith that he will reveal them to me in His perfect timing. Until then, I will continually seek Him and find joy and peace in the fact that my God is in control and knows my heart. My encouragement for those that feel stuck and lost like I did, don’t try and find your way out on your own. God is ready and able to help you navigate you through the fog of life’s difficult and confusing times, all you have to do is put down your pride and seek Him. Let the Lord grow you.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” Psalm 139:23-24 ESV